When looking at other people’s relationships it’s hard not to judge however, you can never really know the truth about that relationship, after all the only people who know about their relationship are those in. Constantly people judge celebrity’s relationship, on a daily basis some famous person ‘A’ list or not will have their relationship commented on by the press and we mere mortals can often ourselves be quite judgemental.

I have found myself falling foul of this thought mainly when it comes to my friends love life’s and who they are dating, normally though an opinion is formed because they ask me for it, so I can’t take the blame fully. I try not to judge but it’s hard not to, especially when I may not be 100% keen on their latest partner, because they don’t fit my mould of what I think my friends partners should be.

People are constantly judged on who they date, or how they find their partners, online dating for a lot of people is considered somewhat of a joke between those who haven’t tried it. Other situations where you can be judged in dating are age of your spouse. For example, men seemed to be cheered for snaring younger or young women whereas with women it’s a bit of a joke. For example the terms used to describe an older lady dating a younger guy:

Cougar defined as: a predatory 40+ female in pursuit of juvenile male
Cheetah defined as: a woman in her 30s who is dating a man in his 20s.
Puma defined as: a woman who is too young to be a cougar, but is older than the man she is dating.

I can’t understand why they even bothered with the term puma, in this day and age why does it matter if a women is older than the man she is dating especially when it’s only a couple of years?

I came across a few relationship statistics which got me thinking about relationships in general as well as online dating, blind dates and finding romance on social media outlets such as Facebook and Twitter.

For men looking for love you probably should be aware that 70% of women are interested in marrying for money, also women are attracted to big spenders, those who like to flash the cash and spend it on their loved one. Apparently men fall in love faster than women with 33% of men falling in love on the first date, compared to only 10% of women who fell in love on the first date. 47% of men are in love by the third date, where as it takes the majority of women (72%) between 5 and 10 dates to fall in love. And 70% of people believe in love at first sight, aw…..

For those who have committed to a partner the top five reasons relationships break down are:

- Infidelity, 57% men admit to cheating and 54% of women do so not much difference there.

- Communication breakdown, some couples lose the ability to talk through their problems.

- Finance, no surprises money comes into this, different financial problems can cause numerous problems in a relationship and add extra stress.

- Sexual incompatibility, gone are the days with no sex before marriage, so now many people won’t stick it out if they don’t have good sex with their partner.

- Abusive relationships are also more of a serious reason, whether it stems from one partner or both of you.

No wonder dating in general can be hard, as someone in a happy relationship, I don’t envy my single friends; just don’t think I could be bothered with the hassle.

This week I am reeling from the news that Jennifer Lopez (J-Lo) has split from her husband, Latino superstar, Mark Anthony after seven years of marriage, according to their rep.

Quote:

“We have decided to end our marriage. This was a very difficult decision. We have come to amicable conclusion on all matters,” they said in a statement. “It is a painful time for all involved, and we appreciate the respect of our privacy at this time.”

I personally think that it is a shame, after all they do have twins together, and it always seems to be the children who suffer, however with the millions in the bank the pair have I don’t think the children will be suffering much hardship. But if J-Lo is feeling lonely and can’t find any suitors she could always try online dating, after all it works for some.

According to some reports, Lopez told Anthony it was over just hours before attending the Bafta Brits To Watch event in Los Angeles last weekend, attending the event with her mother instead. Although the news of the split has been a surprise to many, friends of the couple say it’s been a long time coming. 

This is not a surprise,’ Lopez’s stylist Phillip Bloch said in an exclusive interview last night. “Marc is very controlling. In the beginning she liked that because he stood up to her and in the early days he was very much in love with her and she was with him.”

Speculation is also rife that the couple hit a rocky patch after Lopez’s mother moved into the family home to look after the children, we know from experience that that can cause problems, Cheryl Cole anyone?

In the past I have suggest Cheryl uses online dating site Parship so I would suggest J-Lo does the same.

Recently there have been various news items relating to Cheryl Cole being rumoured to have been meeting up with her ex-husband Ashley Cole and even talk in the press that they may get together because she wants to have his babies! After all the publicity and sympathy she got when he cheated on her will be lost if she goes back to him, in fact the press were kind to her then however they can change in an instant and she may lose respect and even fans if she does get back with him. However at the moment this is only speculation and I hope she see’s sense and realise there is someone else out there for her, I only hope she is just feeling a bit lonely that’s all and it will pass.

This got me thinking about my own friends, one of whom seems to be drifting back to an ex-boyfriend who did not treat her well, currently she says she is lonely and finding it hard to find someone new and is seeing her ex because well its easy and she knows it. Unfortunately she seems to have forgotten all the tears shed when he cheated on her and then was very nasty to her and although it can be hard dating I don’t think she should give up and go back to him.

I’ve tried explaining to her what could happen if they get back together, she is adamant that things will be different this time and that going out and dating just isn’t for her and neither is online dating. Even after all the time I spent putting her profile on Parship for her because she didn’t know what to do, she hasn’t really given online dating anytime. I have a feeling she wants an instant relationship without having to get to know anyone which is why I think she has gone back to what she knows, hopefully she will see sense and not go back however is she does, I hope for her sake things work out differently between them this time, and the same goes for Cheryl Cole.

I had a little chuckle yesterday at the news that Gavin Henson, the Welsh rugby star who was engaged to Charlotte Church is to feature as the bachelor in the UK version of the US hit series The Bachelor. It seems that since his split from Charlotte, Gavin hasn’t had much luck on the dating scene; maybe he should have tried his hand at online dating first before jumping into a TV programme. But maybe he couldn’t resist the chance to be pursued by 25 young women.

According to Channel % viewers should “expect flirting, bitching and heartfelt emotion from the programme as the girls compete for Gavin’s love. Aw just how a romance should start, hmmm…. I think not!

Speaking about the programme Gavin said: “I’m so excited to have been cast as The Bachelor as I really feel the time is right for me to find a girl to hopefully spend the rest of my life with. I’ve always been dedicated to my rugby and continue to train hard but as the season draws to an end I can focus on meeting the right girl. It can be hard in my situation to meet women and The Bachelor will give me the unique opportunity to go on some incredible dates and spend quality time getting to know amazing women from all over the UK.”

I’m sure Gavin will have lots of fun taking part on this TV show, however if I was him I wouldn’t be too hopeful on finding the woman he will spend the rest of his life with on the show, not judging by the outcomes of the US version. If it doesn’t work out maybe Gavin could try dating from Parship to find his future partner!

One of my friends are currently going through a bad break up, after seven years together she is finding the prospect  of being alone quite scary and although she is better off out of that relationship, it’s hard to pursued her that she is and to get back out there.

I suppose because the thought of dating is the last thing my friend wants to do, instead, curl away in a ball somewhere. I did suggest that she should in the future use an online dating website such as Parship to get back out there, especially if her confidence is knocked. The great thing about online dating is that you don’t have to go on the dates if you don’t feel comfortable yet, however you can have a look and see what’s out there until you’re ready.

Many people find it hard to get back into the dating game, no matter how long you were in a relationship for, especially if your confidence gets knocked, however there is help and advice available on dating sites which will give you a helping hand.

I read an article recently that suggest many older people who find themselves divorced and looking for a new partner, have no idea about dating in general. Many people 40 plus who have been married previously, generally married their childhood sweethearts or first partner so never really ventured into the dating worlds. Now many are finding themselves single at a later age not knowing what to do.

One prospect many older people do find especially daunting is online dating, this is a recent phenomenon that just didn’t exist when many newly single people, were last single. However using online dating websites such as Parship can be a good way for older people to find like mined people, who find themselves in the same positions.

You may find you have a lot more in common and it’s easy to find common ground, especially as all your details are laid bare online. For anyone looking for love it can be hard, but if you’re confident and happy in yourself you should be able to conquer the dating game, no matter how long you have been out of it and using all modern dating techniques available, including online dating, speed dating and singles nights to find the right person for you.

Is it any wonder that people use online dating websites now rather than going out and trying to meet people?  A singles night was recently arranged at a pub in Oxford for both men and women,  twenty men arrived in the hope of possibly finding love, however only one woman turned up after an hour, and then made a swift exit.

I feel sorry for the guys; it seems to be very hard for men to meet women these days, even with the advent of online dating. Some of my single guy friends say it’s frustrating to meet people online and that it’s hard to know whether what you see is real. Many of them say they would like to go out and meet women, but most of the time it’s hard to break the single ladies away from their friends to get to know them better without their ‘mate’ butting in. So I suppose that’s where singles nights come, however the poor turnout from the ladies at the one in Oxford suggests it may not be the way forward after all.

I think a lot of my male friends do get disheartened by online dating, especially on sites where you have to pay a fee, I have suggested looking at free dating sites however I am beginning to think they may just give up on love all together, which is a shame as I’m sure they would make someone very happy.

After months of planning and speculation at the end of this month we will finally be able to witness the Marriage of Prince William and his fiancée Kate Middleton. Since their engagement was announced, everyone, and when I say everyone I mean the press and retailers have been speculating about dresses and peddling British themed items.

But for my single friends, they tell me coverage and the constant reminder of the wedding is a bit OTT, and it does feel like it’s being rubbed in their faces. When you’re single you tend to notice more when people get married, not just famous people but your friends, a lot of my friends are reminded that it is still a long way off for them and that it can be hard to watch your friends get married when you’re not even close to a relationship. As you know I have suggest online dating through websites such as Parship as a way to get them back into the game and while a couple are reluctant still, one or two of my friends have had a couple of dates.

I think a lot of the problems my friends have with dating, is that they seem to have lost the confidence they had when we were young, however there are numerous sites to get dating tips and hopefully they will find the confidence to put themselves out there. And finally find their one!

As I have mentioned before a couple of my good friends are trying out online dating, and although I am all open for this new way of finding love I do have concerns when they meet people online, especially one friend who is quite naive. Although it is considered a legitimate way to meet people and an increasingly popular one, with less stigma attached there are now fresh dangers to be wary of whether you male or female.

For example the internet affords certain people anonymity meaning there is plenty of scope for con artists to scam people, being wary of sending people money is important, even if you have met the person or just spoken to them. You also run the risk of been set up by giving out too much detail about your life, for example where you live and what you drive, joining the dots with information already available on the internet opens you up to theft and fraud. Finally and most importantly never be alone when you meet someone for the first time even if you found each other on a Christian dating site or a professional one, because it doesn’t mean they can be trusted. Always meet in a busy place with friends nearby to keep an eye on you and never go off alone with them either even if they pressure you.